ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
