I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
