69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
