Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
