hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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