I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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