Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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