3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
