Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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