Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
