I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We are two peas in an std pod
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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