Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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