i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
