im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
