Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
