She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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