So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Randomize