So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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