my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We have so much sex to catch up on
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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