I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
