Apparently you make a good broom.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize