so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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