Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
