Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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