my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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