So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Randomize
