I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
