Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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