I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
