we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
