what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
