Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
