If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
