I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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