dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
