he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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