Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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