Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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