my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
