Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
