that's an acceptable place to lick
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
