So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
