Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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