the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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