In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
