im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
