I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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