I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I smell like Dick and happiness
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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