MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
