Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
