well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
